Leaders Are Not Therapists. But They Are Responsible for the Room.

Jul 27
2 min read

I opened my latest roundtable with something I keep hearing from leaders: “I feel like I’m spending my one-on-ones being a therapist. I need to change that.” That tension is real right now. My co-host @Ann-Marie said it clearly: “Leaders are like a squished sandwich. They’re leading up and leading down, and everyone is looking to them for stability.” People are bringing more of their lives into work. What’s changed is the intensity and the language. Leaders are unsure how far to go. So, they either overstep or avoid it entirely.

One participant said, “We want people to show up as their whole self, but we’re here to do a job.” That’s the balance. The move is not to become more empathetic. Most leaders already care. The move is to acknowledge without slipping into therapy.

Here’s a pattern I use: “I can see that was hard. What would have made it easier?”

It makes the person feel seen and it moves the conversation back to impact. To put it simply: This isn’t therapy at work. Instead, we acknowledge people so they feel seen and then steer them back to how they can best get the work done. If you blur that line, you exhaust yourself and you don’t actually help your team perform.

Clarity is the cornerstone of strong leadership branding. Clarity about what you do, AND what you DON'T do as a leader. The clarity over time is what creates an overall sense of trust and wellbeing on the team.

Takeaway: Acknowledge. Don’t absorb. Stay with the person long enough for them to feel seen. Then move the conversation back to impact.